The Democratic States of Purple Pearl is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Councillor of Pearl with an even hand, and remarkable for its keen interest in outer space, ubiquitous missile silos, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 5.34 billion Perilians enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level of social equality free from the usual accompanying government corruption.

The enormous, liberal, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Mother of Pearl. The average income tax rate is 95.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Purple Pearlian economy, worth 852 trillion pearls a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 159,617 pearls, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Children are disappointed to learn that cavemen never had a yabba-dabba-doo time riding dinosaurs to work, military equipment is being auctioned off to extend comatose centenarians' lives, hiding wrinkles with make-up is illegal, and government employees from Purple Pearl dominate international lumberjack competitions. Crime is totally unknown. Purple Pearl's national animal is the emu, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Pearlatheism.

Purple Pearl is ranked 47,304^th in the world and 279^th in The Communist Bloc for Most Patriotic, with 28.75 flags saluted per person per day.